Ivan's birth, January 21, 2005

We decided in late December to hire a doula for labor support. I was a fence sitter about hiring a doula, but husband was concerned about forgetting everything that we had learned in class, in so doing, he was concerned that he wouldn’t be entirely helpful through the birth process.

Jan 20 – contractions (Braxton Hicks?), regular and stronger than past Braxton Hicks contractions, beginning at about 1 am. Finally decided to call my doula around 5 am. After a few hours, she suggested that they were not real contractions, and that I should have a cervical exam. Went for a cervical exam, and the doctor confirmed that the contractions were not “real” – nothing happening to my cervix. “You’ll know you’re in labor when you can’t smile through a contraction.” Went home and had an intimate moment with husband. Saw bloody show in the early evening.

Jan 21 – 4:00 am woke up with feeling of heavy menstrual-like flow or bladder incontinence. Ran to bathroom and figured that it was my water that broke. I think I lost about a cup or so of fluid. Went back to bed. Woke up around 8:30 am. Checked email, surfed the web, went to kitchen for breakfast, and then consulted class notes and Simkins’ book for advice. Finally called the doctor’s office for their advice. Went for another exam at 10:00 am.

Because I was group B strep positive, the doctor was very concerned about baby’s exposure, so instead of letting labor proceed at its own pace, he decided to induce. This was really the only point where I didn’t have a say in the matter (and where I cared). I was devastated inside, but tried not to show it. We let my doula know what was going on.

By 11:30, I was hooked up to the IV antibiotics and pitocin drip. During admission, I made it clear to all the nurses (admitting nurse and labor nurse) that I wanted as natural a birth as possible. I made a conscious choice to not sign the epidural consent form. I also made sure to give the nurses a copy of the “Birth Options Checklist.” They do read and follow the plan if you complete it.

My blood pressure spiked, and the labor nurse wouldn’t let me move around until it came down a bit. For some reason, they were concerned about the swelling at my feet in addition to my blood pressure.

My doula arrived after her work was over, around 1:30 pm. By then, I could move around some as long as I stayed within reach of the monitors (fetal and mommy). The labor nurse would check on my progress every 30 – 60 minutes or so. Going to the bathroom was a bit of a chore with the IV and the monitors.

Not sure when contractions started to get bad. They would start on the right side of my uterus, revolve around, and then end in my sacrum. I started out lying on my left side in bed while my blood pressure was too high. Once I could move around, I sat on the birthing ball. When the contractions became a little stronger, I tried leaning onto the bed. I got comfortable on the floor for a bit and tried leaning over the ball, but after about 30 minutes of acrobatics, the nurse couldn’t get the monitors positioned right and asked me to try a different position. I used a standing position, leaning against a tiny piece of wall, with my doula on one side and husband applying a hot pack to my tailbone. When the contractions got strong enough to make that position uncomfortable, I knelt on the floor, and leaned into the armchair. My doula gave husband her wooden massage roller – husband would massage my lower back between contractions and apply the hot pad during a contraction. The monitor proved useful at this point – he could tell exactly when a contraction was coming. At this point, it felt like the contraction ended with someone driving a stake into my sacrum. Meanwhile, my doula helped me focus on inhaling and exhaling, reminding me to relax and breathe out low; she also massaged my neck and shoulders from time to time – a welcome distraction.

Around 4 pm, I recall asking how far along I was. I was informed that the doctor would be along soon for rounds and would check me then. When the doc finally arrived, he made me get up on the bed (not an easy task) and then told me that I was 4 cm dilated – that this meant I had done 90% of the work.

The contractions kept getting stronger from this point. I recall my doula asking how a past contraction was. I even recall telling her that I didn’t remember – that is, somehow I was able to deal with contraction and then prepare mentally for the next one.

It was at this point that I realized that I was no longer watching the time. Not too long after the doctor left (apparently, it was only 45 minutes), I asked for another exam. I’m not sure why, but I felt like things were progressing rapidly. Indeed, the nurse did some more acrobatics and conducted a cervical exam while I stayed in my position on the floor. She and my doula were very excited that I had made it to 8 cm dilation. Not too long after that (apparently another 45 minutes), I said that I really wanted to push. I’m not sure who checked me or where the exam was done (on the floor? on the bed?), but I do recall being told by the nurse that I was then 10 cm dilated. My doula told me that I was going to have a baby. The nurse was so excited that it might happen on her shift that she apparently went running into the hall and hollered “We’re having a baby in here!” Lots of commotion followed…

I recall emptying my bladder 2-3 times prior to this point in time; however, I had not had a bowel movement. So it was at this point in time that my visualizations bizarrely focused on emptying my bowels before pushing out the baby.

We had set up the bed for squatting while pushing. The doctor, however, wanted better control of the head so he ruled out squatting. I was fortunate that I only had 10 minutes of pushing, so the position really didn’t matter. During pushing, I don’t recall feeling that position mattered; I was focused on visualizing the process from the inside out. I had never intended to do any visualizations, and that they were so deep and graphic surprise me even today. Start to finish, my labor was about 8 hours long.

My doula helped get my new son Ivan latched onto me for our first attempt at breastfeeding. Husband took off briefly to get us dinner and to stop by the house to feed the cats. In the meantime, the nurse did the initial inspection of Ivan, with my doula observing. Husband arrived with dinner just as we were about to head over to postpartum. I guess BHHS isn’t used to non-medicated births; the nurses were raving about how I “rock” because of my ordeal, however brief it was.

Our first night was quietly euphoric. The night shift nurses conducted some newborn care instructions, most of which husband received by himself. Because of the effects of a vaginal birth, I discovered that I had limited sensation in my bladder. I started using nurse visits as cues to go to the bathroom.

Addendum, June 2007: What would I have done differently? I would have used natural methods for addressing the GBS (garlic!) – Mothering magazine published an article not too long ago about the overuse of antibiotics for GBS treatment. I would have stalled a little bit more about contacting the doctor and waited to see if labor would kick in on its own. I also know that throughout pregnancy, I had issues with my pelvis, only my doctor didn’t know it – pubic symphysis dysfunction. I would have done a number of things differently to address the pelvis issue more directly – craniosacral therapy during pregnancy, squatting during pushing (lying down during pushing exacerbates this condition). I probably would have also had a craniosacral therapy session for baby and myself within days after his birth.

Submitted by Anonymous